GIRLS JUST
WANT TO
HAVE FUN
■ You’re never
too old to play.
Try a game of
basketball, four
square, gin rummy,
or tag. Remember
how you loved
tetherball in fourth
grade? Give it a
whirl. Never quite
learned to do a
cartwheel? Never
say never.
■ Your friends
are just waiting
to be asked.
Host
a slumber party—
with your adult pals.
Eat brownies, read
Tarot cards, stay up
too late giggling.
■ Read.
Who says
you can’t go back in
time? Look for that
girlish wonder in
those books that
you loved, such as
Anne of Green
Gables, Harriet the
Spy, The Secret
Garden,
or
Little
Women,
feminism, yet women still get lots of messages
that tell us to hold back. We are also very busy,
so we learn to paper over what’s frustrating.
SK: WHAT DOES DARING MEAN TO YOU?
AB: A daring woman is someone confident and
curious about the world. You don’t have to be
a high-achieving, hyper-competent world-
changer. One of the most daring women I know
is my friend Jeannie Stano of Bronxville, New
York, who started taking piano lessons at age
50 and went back to school in her 60s and
graduated from Smith College.
MP: “Daring” means following your dreams
and passions. It means getting in the game.
“Daring” is a vision of stepping out of the
routine and finding the adventure you seek.
I’m inspired by historical examples of daring
women—Abigail Adams, or Ida B. Wells, who
founded the NAACP—as well as contemporary
role models like Rebecca Lobo, one of our first
female pro basketball players.
SK: HOW DOES HAVING FUN HELP US BE DARING?
MP: Everything around us is geared toward
achievement. To all that, we suggest that
women learn to play. Learning a new skill—like
canoeing or whistling with two fingers—not
because you’ll earn a prize but because it feels
good, is the first step toward living a daring life.
In the midst of homework and housework, I’ve
had such fun shooting hoops with my older
daughter. It feels good to resist daily pressure.
SK: WHY HAVE SO MANY READERS OF YOUR
BOOK TURNED OUT TO BE GROWN WOMEN?
MP: Andi and I wanted to give girls—and
women—a different vision of girlhood and
womanhood. It’s this vision that resonates for
people. My 90-year-old grandmother loved the
book because it reminded her of being a girl.
SK: SO HOW TO FIND YOUR INNER DARI NG GIRL?
AB:By feeling the fear and doing it anyway. I
talk about this with my daughter, who seems
to have inherited a perfectionist, sensitive
personality. (Can’t imagine how she ended up
with that!) We talk about listening to what
scares you. Fear or insecurity is a message, but
it’s not always clear what’s being communi-
cated. Is a situation truly scary or just some-
thing outside your comfort zone? Confronting
what scares us and acknowledging what we
feel can be, in itself, plenty daring. iJS)
Just how bold are
you? A definitely
unscientific quiz.
1.
TO R ELIEVE STR ESS I .
..
a) watch cable TV
b) phone a good pal
c) cook something new
2
.1
MADE A FOOL OF M YSELF.
..
a) years ago
b) last year
c) the other day
3.
I’M A BIT OF A WONK
BECA U SE.
..
a) I’m addicted to Google
b) I upload digital photos
c) I post videos on YouTube
4. MY LA ST CLASS WAS .
..
a) in school
b) fo r childbirth
c) adult education
5. MY FRIEN DS ARE
MOSTLY FROM .
..
a) childhood—I’m loyal!
b) kid connections
c) everywhere
6. I’D RATHER H A VE.
..
a) more sleep
b) more money
c) more tim e
Now score yourself: A = 3 points,
B = 5 points, C = 7 points
1 8 -2 7 S h rin k in g V io le t
Hey, bashful: Vow to leave your comfort
zone. “I woke up at 38 and realized I didn't
do anything but work and take care of my
kids,” Miriam Peskowitz adm its.“Some ways
to be more daring are small and in tim a te -
asking for what you want, making your voice
heard. It’s not all about climbing Everest.”
2 8 -3 9 D em i D a re d e vil
You get that fun relieves stress— now take
it to the next level. That can be as simple as
learning howto paint a room or taking up a
new outdoor sport.
4 0 -4 9 In tre p id A d ve n tu re r
Ask “Am I interesting to myself?” and we bet
you'll answer “yes!” You've conquered your
fears—ifyou ever had any—and dared to be
daring. Congratulations! Keep flying.
128
JUNE 2008 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS
